Thursday, August 17, 2017

Flight of Crow Girl release and Audiobook take 2

So, trying out new things promotion and release wise. The Crow Girl sequel, "The Flight of Crow GIrl" will be released in paperback as soon as createspace sends Amazon the file. For now, it's Free for download on instafreebie. Also if you sign up for my newsletter you will get a welcome email with a link to download the original Crow Girl for free.

So that's done. Now I'm going back to attempting to record an audio book after being busy with that all day. The first time I attempted this was my last day off. I was rearing and reading to go and attempted to record for hours. Stepped back, took a break, and joined a facebook group for ACX narrators and got some help.

Now I'm back on my day off again. I've got my headset on. I've got Audacity pulled up. I've got the manuscript pulled up.......and I"m feeling like a total knob for sitting here talking to myself.

I should probably get up and eat something since the calories I have consumed since I woke up came from coffee and coffee creamer. I'll probably need some Jameson too.

Then I'll have to record a little bit at the end of the book thanking Jameson and Kerrygold for making the booze and cheese that got me through recording this audio book.

I DO have several books posted for audition on ACX that need accents I'm not sure I can do or a male narrator. I should, in theory, be able to record this series myself, since I've been performing in some capacity or the other since I was 7. I've done live theatre, sang solos, DANCED solos, done monoloques, etc.

Maybe I need to bring my laptop to starbucks and perform this audio book for everyone there. Maybe what's missing is the audience. Do you think they would ban me if I made it entertaining and kept buying frappucinos while I was there? Even when I get to the part in the book about the botanist with a foot fetish? Maybe they'll even let me stay when I start talking dick pics? Startbucks is pretty liberal, right?

Friday, August 11, 2017

My "porn book" is free today on Amazon

Salome:A Modern Retelling is free today on Amazon. This is not a biblical tale in the slightest. Herod is a drug lord and John is a snitch. I also killed someone who was irritating me on Facebook in this book.

This book also garnered me my favorite review EVER. "This book is utter porn." Hence I joined the porn writers of America club. I also decided to have Liam refer to all romance books as Porn Books in the Crow Girl sequel I loved that so much.

ANYWAY, the book is free today. It's not a biblical tale. If you're offended by sex, drugs, and rock and roll, you'll probably want to skip it. If sex and drugs have you clutching your pearls, you might want to skip it. But if you like twisted tales with drama, sex, and crime, you might just want to pick it up


Thursday, August 10, 2017

Recording an audio book

So, today is my day off. Record an audio book, I said. You could probably finish one book on your day off, I said. THAT IS TOTALLY NOT HAPPENING.

I did my research. I knew how to format it to upload it and what is required. I had Audacity up and ready to go.

I get two words of the title out and am like, that is awful and delete it. Eek out the title and my name. Hit play. My air conditioner is still fucked, but should be fixed soon. You can totally hear the fan I have in the room with me in the background. Fiddle around with recording the title about 4 more times and eventually figure out how to remove the noise and a little help from mah friends.

Technically, I SHOULD be recording the first chapter right now. I have it pulled up and ready to go. I know how to remove the fan noise now. But it's storming, yet again, because we are in the middle of hurricane season and my not so bright dog thinks we're in the middle of a home invasion or something. I've got two dogs. The pit bull, who is blissfully passed out on my bed and would probably want to play with a robber if I actually was in the middle of a home invasion. She's pretty much the worst guard dog ever.

Then you have my mutant bratwurst dog. How can a dog be a mutant bratwurst? See, this whole designer hybrid phase people are doing totally creates mutant bratwurst dogs. Basically, someone bred two dogs together and created a mutt that people will pay a ton of money for because they slapped the label designer hybrid on it and made up stories about how he's a magical unicorn. I didn't pay designer hybrid prices for him. I paid Heinz 57 adoption fees for him, then found out later he's a magical unicorn.

I try to remind him he's a magical unicorn when he's doing things like licking my kindle when I'm trying to read, barking when I'm trying to record an audio book, and destroying my bed sheets because he hates toys. He's content to just be a mutant bratwurst and do his own thing though and that's okay because he's really affectionate and an awesome snuggler. And hey, if this was a home invasion and not a thunder storm, this pit bull wouldn't make a peep, so I've got a 20lb mutant bratwurst protecting the house just in case.

I'm sure when I hit publish on this blog and go back to trying to record, he's going to start barking again. I'm not going to yell at him because I don't yell at my dogs. I'll go in there and scratch his belly and see if he goes to sleep

Friday, August 4, 2017

ALSO FREE today, by Johnny Moscato #freebiefriday

Did you watch the Crow Girl trailer? Did you notice the music in there? I had a hard time finding the right music since music plays such a big part of the book and I named several musicians. The music is actually by Indie Author Johnny Moscato, who ALSO has a free book today.

getbook.at/jimmydarwin">The Book of Jimmy Darwin
The Project which I read and reviewed last week and is a 5 star read all the way

Crow Girl is FREE today #freebieFriday

Crow Girl is FREE today on Amazon. You can pick it up right here and have it delivered to your kindle like magic.

ALSO, ALSO The Crow Girl sequel is DONE. It's not polished or edited, but it's done. I'm going to be releasing this one a little differently. After going on a hunt for Beta readers and ARC reviewers, I plan on listing it on Instafreebie for about 2 weeks because I'm trying something out.

SO, You can get Crow Girl free today, then if I ever get this shit edited, polished, and beta read, watch this space, because you can also get it on Instafreebie for a short time.

THEN it will go on Amazon. I also have 1 of a few book trailers made for the series. I'm still figuring out this stupid video software and I had to valiantly protect my laptop from a 14lb ginger cat who REALLY wanted to get at that video of the bird, but check out the book trailer for the series

https://youtu.be/MrSlCrK-ykM

Friday, July 7, 2017

All the feels and ideas for sequels

I'm getting all sorts of feels and ideas for sequels to both Crow Girl and Salome. Not like, extended series like the Mauve books, more like me hopping on stage, having my say, dropping the mic, and exiting stage left. I've been thinking maybe I should just jump on a real stage and grab a mic from someone, but they tend to arrest you for that. If I write these sequels, I can sit quietly behind my computer with my coffee and this fucking cat who keeps trying to sit on my mouse.

I never actually set out to write any series at all. I've actually been reading several series by several famous authors since I was around 13 or so. Mainly, I stole them from my mum or read the back while she was grocery shopping and demanded she buy it for me. My mum let me read all sorts of inappropriate things as a child.

As I am much older than thirteen now, I still read some of these series, almost 30 years later. Now that I'm writing, when I read these series, they kind of scare me. I see they are popular and hell, I've been reading them for decades. But in most cases, these series are all the author writes anymore and they write full time, unlike me.

I kind of think about how their fans would react if they decided to totally switch genres and write something else. Say, a crime writer gets an idea for a fantasy book or a fantasy writer wants to switch and write a political thriller. These authors have a fan base who expects certain things from their books and I wonder if they ever feel trapped by their series and characters or if they enjoy writing them just as much as the first time they created them.

Obviously, I have 0 fan base and I write what pops in my head or what I happened to dream that night. I'm pretty much all over the place genre-wise and that's where I prefer to stay. I had a blast writing The Spirus series and have ideas for future books. The Mauve series is going to follow her complete training until they eventually catch The Arm. I don't know if I'll continue once she's a fully trained agent. There may be something there when I get to that point, but I will keep writing the series until she gets her black belt and catches The Arm. She's only working on her green belt right now, so there's several more books like.

So yeah, the idea of writing a series and it catching on scares the shit out of me. Don't ask me why I have ideas for sequels popping into my head every night when I'm trying to sleep, but they are. I'm getting faster at writing, so the Crow Girl and Salome sequel may end up happening between Mauve books. I have no idea if these sequels keep popping into my head because my latest books are a lot shorter than my first three and maybe I'm just not FINISHED with it when I think I am. Maybe when I think I'm done, I need to stick it in a ziplock baggie in the fridge to marinate for a few days or go sit in the corner with a dunce cap on until I'm SURE I've said everything I wanted to say.

Oh, and by the way, Mauve: Origins is back to being perma free on Amazon now that my KU enrollment is up. I'm going to say don't go download it because it you like it, you may download the other books, then other people might do the same and people might start expecting things from me.

I'm going to go sit awkwardly in the corner with my dunce cap now

It is hot as fuck

So, my air conditioner is still broken. Why isn't is fixed yet? That's a good fucking question.

Last week, I paid a service fee for a well rated company on google to come out and run a diagnostic. Dude proceeds to smoke in front of a freon leak and hit on me until he asks how old I am and finds out I'm 14 years older than he thinks I am. Dude gets into my attic and claims I'm low on coolant because there's a leak in my air handler in the attic. Claims the coil in the attic is incompatible with the compressor outside, even though the company who put it in, like, the dude used to date my sister and knows better than to piss either of us off and fuck up my house.

The air handler in the attic was just installed in 2014 and I know the parts are still under warranty, even if the labor is not. Dude wants to spray shit to stop the leak and quotes me 3 times my mortgage for coolant since they don't technically make it anymore. I tell dude to check the warranty and send him on his way. He claims he will call me in 10 minutes with warranty info.

It's been a WEEK and no one at that company has felt the need to make a 2 minute phone call to give my serial to the company that needs to verify the warranty. I've called and spoken to the service manager who verifies that shit. Excuses I was given were that it was a holiday, which is valid, and that he needed to talk to the rep at my house first, which is stupid because I told him everything the rep told me and I had serials for everything.

I got fed up yesterday and called a second company, gave them my serials, and they are supposed to call me back. Four hours later, no call. I call on my break and the girl I gave the serials to is gone for the day. Called this morning and maybe they will get to it on Monday.

Meanwhile, it's 88 degrees inside my house, me and my animals are melting, and I have 3 large musical instruments that are going horribly out of tune the longer it stays hot in here. I can't tune the piano myself and my cello is a whiny little bitch when it comes to getting back in tune. My C string totally hates me.

So I get back on google and start reading reviews. This time, I'm paying attention to the one star reviews. Saw one that basically read what was happening to me, minus the warranty, A company was trying to charge $800 for a $40 part, much like I was being quoted over a thousand dollars for coolant I can buy online for $200. Blissfully, there was a name there. Marvin came out, properly diagnosed my shit, gave me fair prices, and fixed it.

Okay, I needed to locate this Marvin. Marvin was located. I spoke to Marvin. Marvin was leaving to go out of town, but still managed to verify my warranty in under a minute. I don't have any price quotes from Marvin yet, but we are getting together when he gets back from out of town. Marvin is my new best friend for right now after getting shit done in minutes that two different air conditioning companies didn't feel like doing for a week now. Marvin actually picks up his phone when you call, asked me to text him my info, and when I didn't text things he needed, he responded instantly like "Yo, girl, if you want your shit fixed, I need this info"

So hopefully, next week, I will either have a working air conditioner or a plan for a working air conditioner soon. I own a townhouse and whoever built it must not be from 'round here. Basically, in the south, we have hirricane season right when it's in the upper 90's with 99% humidity. If we get hit, you are pretty much going to lose power. As to when you get your power back, that's a crap shoot as to how bad the storm was. Sometimes, it's a few days, but I've lived through hurricane seasons with enough month long worth of power outages. So, logically, you open your windows.

Whichever minion of Satan designed my townhouse gave me ONE window in my entire two story town house. In my bedroom. So I've got a portable AC unit in my bedroom because it has to vent OUT THE WINDOW and that's my only window.

I work from home and I have a total of two phone lines in the house. My bedroom and downstairs. When my two dogs get to playing, the little one makes these noises that I imagine are what a chicken makes if you attempt to pluck it while it's still alive. Or they won't be playing and the little one goes and steals the pit bulls toys. The pit bull is an utterly worthless guard dog and instead of taking her toys back, she sits in the corner and wails until I bring her toys back. Working in the bedroom is out, so I'm sweating balls downstairs