Thursday, August 17, 2017

Flight of Crow Girl release and Audiobook take 2

So, trying out new things promotion and release wise. The Crow Girl sequel, "The Flight of Crow GIrl" will be released in paperback as soon as createspace sends Amazon the file. For now, it's Free for download on instafreebie. Also if you sign up for my newsletter you will get a welcome email with a link to download the original Crow Girl for free.

So that's done. Now I'm going back to attempting to record an audio book after being busy with that all day. The first time I attempted this was my last day off. I was rearing and reading to go and attempted to record for hours. Stepped back, took a break, and joined a facebook group for ACX narrators and got some help.

Now I'm back on my day off again. I've got my headset on. I've got Audacity pulled up. I've got the manuscript pulled up.......and I"m feeling like a total knob for sitting here talking to myself.

I should probably get up and eat something since the calories I have consumed since I woke up came from coffee and coffee creamer. I'll probably need some Jameson too.

Then I'll have to record a little bit at the end of the book thanking Jameson and Kerrygold for making the booze and cheese that got me through recording this audio book.

I DO have several books posted for audition on ACX that need accents I'm not sure I can do or a male narrator. I should, in theory, be able to record this series myself, since I've been performing in some capacity or the other since I was 7. I've done live theatre, sang solos, DANCED solos, done monoloques, etc.

Maybe I need to bring my laptop to starbucks and perform this audio book for everyone there. Maybe what's missing is the audience. Do you think they would ban me if I made it entertaining and kept buying frappucinos while I was there? Even when I get to the part in the book about the botanist with a foot fetish? Maybe they'll even let me stay when I start talking dick pics? Startbucks is pretty liberal, right?

Friday, August 11, 2017

My "porn book" is free today on Amazon

Salome:A Modern Retelling is free today on Amazon. This is not a biblical tale in the slightest. Herod is a drug lord and John is a snitch. I also killed someone who was irritating me on Facebook in this book.

This book also garnered me my favorite review EVER. "This book is utter porn." Hence I joined the porn writers of America club. I also decided to have Liam refer to all romance books as Porn Books in the Crow Girl sequel I loved that so much.

ANYWAY, the book is free today. It's not a biblical tale. If you're offended by sex, drugs, and rock and roll, you'll probably want to skip it. If sex and drugs have you clutching your pearls, you might want to skip it. But if you like twisted tales with drama, sex, and crime, you might just want to pick it up


Thursday, August 10, 2017

Recording an audio book

So, today is my day off. Record an audio book, I said. You could probably finish one book on your day off, I said. THAT IS TOTALLY NOT HAPPENING.

I did my research. I knew how to format it to upload it and what is required. I had Audacity up and ready to go.

I get two words of the title out and am like, that is awful and delete it. Eek out the title and my name. Hit play. My air conditioner is still fucked, but should be fixed soon. You can totally hear the fan I have in the room with me in the background. Fiddle around with recording the title about 4 more times and eventually figure out how to remove the noise and a little help from mah friends.

Technically, I SHOULD be recording the first chapter right now. I have it pulled up and ready to go. I know how to remove the fan noise now. But it's storming, yet again, because we are in the middle of hurricane season and my not so bright dog thinks we're in the middle of a home invasion or something. I've got two dogs. The pit bull, who is blissfully passed out on my bed and would probably want to play with a robber if I actually was in the middle of a home invasion. She's pretty much the worst guard dog ever.

Then you have my mutant bratwurst dog. How can a dog be a mutant bratwurst? See, this whole designer hybrid phase people are doing totally creates mutant bratwurst dogs. Basically, someone bred two dogs together and created a mutt that people will pay a ton of money for because they slapped the label designer hybrid on it and made up stories about how he's a magical unicorn. I didn't pay designer hybrid prices for him. I paid Heinz 57 adoption fees for him, then found out later he's a magical unicorn.

I try to remind him he's a magical unicorn when he's doing things like licking my kindle when I'm trying to read, barking when I'm trying to record an audio book, and destroying my bed sheets because he hates toys. He's content to just be a mutant bratwurst and do his own thing though and that's okay because he's really affectionate and an awesome snuggler. And hey, if this was a home invasion and not a thunder storm, this pit bull wouldn't make a peep, so I've got a 20lb mutant bratwurst protecting the house just in case.

I'm sure when I hit publish on this blog and go back to trying to record, he's going to start barking again. I'm not going to yell at him because I don't yell at my dogs. I'll go in there and scratch his belly and see if he goes to sleep

Friday, August 4, 2017

ALSO FREE today, by Johnny Moscato #freebiefriday

Did you watch the Crow Girl trailer? Did you notice the music in there? I had a hard time finding the right music since music plays such a big part of the book and I named several musicians. The music is actually by Indie Author Johnny Moscato, who ALSO has a free book today.

getbook.at/jimmydarwin">The Book of Jimmy Darwin
The Project which I read and reviewed last week and is a 5 star read all the way

Crow Girl is FREE today #freebieFriday

Crow Girl is FREE today on Amazon. You can pick it up right here and have it delivered to your kindle like magic.

ALSO, ALSO The Crow Girl sequel is DONE. It's not polished or edited, but it's done. I'm going to be releasing this one a little differently. After going on a hunt for Beta readers and ARC reviewers, I plan on listing it on Instafreebie for about 2 weeks because I'm trying something out.

SO, You can get Crow Girl free today, then if I ever get this shit edited, polished, and beta read, watch this space, because you can also get it on Instafreebie for a short time.

THEN it will go on Amazon. I also have 1 of a few book trailers made for the series. I'm still figuring out this stupid video software and I had to valiantly protect my laptop from a 14lb ginger cat who REALLY wanted to get at that video of the bird, but check out the book trailer for the series

https://youtu.be/MrSlCrK-ykM

Friday, July 7, 2017

All the feels and ideas for sequels

I'm getting all sorts of feels and ideas for sequels to both Crow Girl and Salome. Not like, extended series like the Mauve books, more like me hopping on stage, having my say, dropping the mic, and exiting stage left. I've been thinking maybe I should just jump on a real stage and grab a mic from someone, but they tend to arrest you for that. If I write these sequels, I can sit quietly behind my computer with my coffee and this fucking cat who keeps trying to sit on my mouse.

I never actually set out to write any series at all. I've actually been reading several series by several famous authors since I was around 13 or so. Mainly, I stole them from my mum or read the back while she was grocery shopping and demanded she buy it for me. My mum let me read all sorts of inappropriate things as a child.

As I am much older than thirteen now, I still read some of these series, almost 30 years later. Now that I'm writing, when I read these series, they kind of scare me. I see they are popular and hell, I've been reading them for decades. But in most cases, these series are all the author writes anymore and they write full time, unlike me.

I kind of think about how their fans would react if they decided to totally switch genres and write something else. Say, a crime writer gets an idea for a fantasy book or a fantasy writer wants to switch and write a political thriller. These authors have a fan base who expects certain things from their books and I wonder if they ever feel trapped by their series and characters or if they enjoy writing them just as much as the first time they created them.

Obviously, I have 0 fan base and I write what pops in my head or what I happened to dream that night. I'm pretty much all over the place genre-wise and that's where I prefer to stay. I had a blast writing The Spirus series and have ideas for future books. The Mauve series is going to follow her complete training until they eventually catch The Arm. I don't know if I'll continue once she's a fully trained agent. There may be something there when I get to that point, but I will keep writing the series until she gets her black belt and catches The Arm. She's only working on her green belt right now, so there's several more books like.

So yeah, the idea of writing a series and it catching on scares the shit out of me. Don't ask me why I have ideas for sequels popping into my head every night when I'm trying to sleep, but they are. I'm getting faster at writing, so the Crow Girl and Salome sequel may end up happening between Mauve books. I have no idea if these sequels keep popping into my head because my latest books are a lot shorter than my first three and maybe I'm just not FINISHED with it when I think I am. Maybe when I think I'm done, I need to stick it in a ziplock baggie in the fridge to marinate for a few days or go sit in the corner with a dunce cap on until I'm SURE I've said everything I wanted to say.

Oh, and by the way, Mauve: Origins is back to being perma free on Amazon now that my KU enrollment is up. I'm going to say don't go download it because it you like it, you may download the other books, then other people might do the same and people might start expecting things from me.

I'm going to go sit awkwardly in the corner with my dunce cap now

It is hot as fuck

So, my air conditioner is still broken. Why isn't is fixed yet? That's a good fucking question.

Last week, I paid a service fee for a well rated company on google to come out and run a diagnostic. Dude proceeds to smoke in front of a freon leak and hit on me until he asks how old I am and finds out I'm 14 years older than he thinks I am. Dude gets into my attic and claims I'm low on coolant because there's a leak in my air handler in the attic. Claims the coil in the attic is incompatible with the compressor outside, even though the company who put it in, like, the dude used to date my sister and knows better than to piss either of us off and fuck up my house.

The air handler in the attic was just installed in 2014 and I know the parts are still under warranty, even if the labor is not. Dude wants to spray shit to stop the leak and quotes me 3 times my mortgage for coolant since they don't technically make it anymore. I tell dude to check the warranty and send him on his way. He claims he will call me in 10 minutes with warranty info.

It's been a WEEK and no one at that company has felt the need to make a 2 minute phone call to give my serial to the company that needs to verify the warranty. I've called and spoken to the service manager who verifies that shit. Excuses I was given were that it was a holiday, which is valid, and that he needed to talk to the rep at my house first, which is stupid because I told him everything the rep told me and I had serials for everything.

I got fed up yesterday and called a second company, gave them my serials, and they are supposed to call me back. Four hours later, no call. I call on my break and the girl I gave the serials to is gone for the day. Called this morning and maybe they will get to it on Monday.

Meanwhile, it's 88 degrees inside my house, me and my animals are melting, and I have 3 large musical instruments that are going horribly out of tune the longer it stays hot in here. I can't tune the piano myself and my cello is a whiny little bitch when it comes to getting back in tune. My C string totally hates me.

So I get back on google and start reading reviews. This time, I'm paying attention to the one star reviews. Saw one that basically read what was happening to me, minus the warranty, A company was trying to charge $800 for a $40 part, much like I was being quoted over a thousand dollars for coolant I can buy online for $200. Blissfully, there was a name there. Marvin came out, properly diagnosed my shit, gave me fair prices, and fixed it.

Okay, I needed to locate this Marvin. Marvin was located. I spoke to Marvin. Marvin was leaving to go out of town, but still managed to verify my warranty in under a minute. I don't have any price quotes from Marvin yet, but we are getting together when he gets back from out of town. Marvin is my new best friend for right now after getting shit done in minutes that two different air conditioning companies didn't feel like doing for a week now. Marvin actually picks up his phone when you call, asked me to text him my info, and when I didn't text things he needed, he responded instantly like "Yo, girl, if you want your shit fixed, I need this info"

So hopefully, next week, I will either have a working air conditioner or a plan for a working air conditioner soon. I own a townhouse and whoever built it must not be from 'round here. Basically, in the south, we have hirricane season right when it's in the upper 90's with 99% humidity. If we get hit, you are pretty much going to lose power. As to when you get your power back, that's a crap shoot as to how bad the storm was. Sometimes, it's a few days, but I've lived through hurricane seasons with enough month long worth of power outages. So, logically, you open your windows.

Whichever minion of Satan designed my townhouse gave me ONE window in my entire two story town house. In my bedroom. So I've got a portable AC unit in my bedroom because it has to vent OUT THE WINDOW and that's my only window.

I work from home and I have a total of two phone lines in the house. My bedroom and downstairs. When my two dogs get to playing, the little one makes these noises that I imagine are what a chicken makes if you attempt to pluck it while it's still alive. Or they won't be playing and the little one goes and steals the pit bulls toys. The pit bull is an utterly worthless guard dog and instead of taking her toys back, she sits in the corner and wails until I bring her toys back. Working in the bedroom is out, so I'm sweating balls downstairs

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Special Agent Mauve Origins update

The original Special Agent Mauve story is getting a few new updates. I recently went through and cleaned it up and gave it similar formatting and graphics like the second book and what I'm doing with the third book.

Since my Kindle unlimited enrollment for the Origins story will be up on the 4th and I can go back to making it permafree (read the fine print, people. It saves lives). I decided to update the cover on Origins so that it's more in line with the second book and what I did with the third.

The new cover will be submitted tomorrow and the book will go back to always being free on the 5th, or as soon as Amazon responds to my message and makes it free again.

But lets have a cover reveal in the meantime, shall we?

 photo mauveNEW2_zps3s7r2aeq.jpg

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Coming Soon! New Mauve book!

Mauve Part 3, the saga continues.

There's a new hacker group that could possibly bring Mauve and her team closer to The Arm. To gain access to The Vipers and to get closer to The Arm, Mauve, Cadmium, and Jeremy must go deep under cover in Louisiana, pretending to be claims adjusters. The new bounty on the hacker forum involves a program written written Affirmative, Jeremy's previous employer and Mauve and her team's last bust. The program is meant to exploit the high insurance fraud in Louisiana and give the hackers the data to blackmail those committing fraud.

While in New Orleans, the mysterious Cadmium's past blows up on everyone there. Armed with the tools they need, our trio returns home to continue their training and see how many busts they can get from this one undercover operation. Can they get The Arm this time?

 photo MauveVipersFINAL_zpsdekyltus.jpg

Saturday, June 24, 2017

The AC saga continues

So, my house is still burning hot. Back into the attic.

I found this random piece of flex duct that doesn't connect to another piece of duct, is not sealed, and just blows everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's the reason why it's always winter and never Christmas in Narnia. I'm actually out of everything I need to patch duct work because the work is so shitty. Did not have time to make a Lowe's run.

Tore the house apart looking for duct take. Found a lint roller. Covered the end of the duct with that until metal tape can be procured. The AC is blowing, just not hard. Was going to go outside and attempt to shop vac the hell out of my outside unit, but you know, Louisiana, hurricane season, and that whole Cindy thing is going on.

As soon as I shut the attic, the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa." It's been storming all day. If the rain ever decides to stop and dry up outside, I'll get out there with the shop vac.

I did get some very hot writing done. It's kind of like hot yoga. You sweat your ass off while trying to breathe and concentrate and you shift positions often. Special Agent Mauve: Mission-Viper is nearly done. I just need to finish setting the scene for the next book. NO CLIFF HANGER because I hate them, just some scene building.

I decided with this book to go home for a scene. I've published about 15 works so far and only 1 book for 1 chapter takes place in Louisiana. So little Mauve goes undercover in Louisiana to deal with insurance fraud. I used a little real life experience because my life for a little while was insurance fraud. All the crazy, ridiculous things about living here made the book. Go cups, drive-thru daiquiri shops, Jesus personally making appearances in car accidents, #rallypossum, Bourbon street, casino buffets, and epic amounts of Cajun food are all in the book. We also get hit face first with Cadmium's mysterious past.

There's more hackers and more about the mysterious Arm. I'm trying to see how utterly ridiculous I can get with fake names and aliases before someone pulls me aside and tells me I went too far. Since I'm setting up the scene for the third book to deal with some of the darker SubReddits, I fully expect those emails once it's done

Friday, June 23, 2017

My life instead of writing

My time has been short writing wise due to work commitments. And this fucking air conditioner.

Two weeks ago, my AC wasn't cooling and wasn't at the temperature I set it at. Texted my AC guy, no response. Went up into the attic and noticed two pieces of duct had never been connected together properly and were currently about 6 inches apart. Text AC guy. No response. So I was basically like FINE! My 5'4 ginger ass is going to patch that duct work with Dr Google and youtube!

I find the part I need at Amazon because Lowe's didn't have it. Get the duct work properly connected, sealed, and duct taped to all hell. Feel more cold air. Rip more insulation off and see that the main duct that goes into the attic unit is just in there with no mastic to seal it. So I seal it.

My house is still hot and the AC is still running constantly. So I'm up in my attic, contorting myself around beams like I'm a Cirque du Soliel performer. I find ANOTHER joint that wasn't sealed properly. No mastic, no tape. The two pieces were just places together and covered in insulation.

Patch that and it's even hotter in here now. MY COCONUT OIL IS LIQUID!

So tomorrow, when I'm off, I hope I have enough tape to pull off every single bit of insulation to see how many other presents I find in my duct work so that my house will go back to a normal temperature.

Seriously, I think when they went to install the duct work in my attic, they went to the old Walmart that always smelled like popcorn and BO and got torn down 7 years ago, walked up to the first person they saw, and said, hey! We'll pay for whatever you are buying and throw in a $20 if you put some duct work in this attic! Either that, or it was a two fingered chimpanzee. I haven't decided yet. I just know I'd like solid coconut oil again and not have to deal with Louisiana heat and humidity while I'm inside my house

Friday, May 26, 2017

Mauve part 2, the full length, is done and I've set the scene for another full length book. But no cliff hanger because I fricking hate those. If you need me, I'll be in an editing blanket fort with nicotine, caffeine, and rum

And dear government looking at my search history, I'm not REALLY going to hack any government websites, it was just research for a book. I'm also not snorting cocaine or making gun powder and acid if you were looking at my search history for other books

 photo mauve2promo_zpskbthtrt6.jpg

Friday, May 19, 2017

Combined works

When you put them all together, it looks like I actually got some shit done






































Mauve-The full length book. Coming soon

What do hackers, a hairless cat, hipsters, a botanist with a foot fetish, and dick pics have in common?

You probably sent me a messed up PM on facebook and got snarked on in Mauve's full length book. Nothing is sacred and I make fun of everything.

I think I went a little more Palahniuk than The Naked Gun with this one, but it's still in the same spirit as the original short story, even if I got a little gross. Grosser than barfing on someone. (That entire thing with the eggrolls totally happened to me in real life in the 6th grade when I was traveling with a group. I was stuck in a van for hours with just a garbage bag and a bunch of people mad at me for getting food poisoning) Thankfully, most gas station food has progressed since way back when I was 11. There's a pretty sweet gas station by my parents house that sells Greek food in the corner. Like, real, delicious Greek food that doesn't give you food poisoning.

Which is more than I can say for the grocery story by my house. Sometimes, when I edit, I need donuts. I crave donuts. I go all Homer Simpson for donuts and can't get any work done unless I get a donut in my face hole. Do you know how awful it is to get donuts ruined for you because you got food poisoning from donuts from the grocery store by your house? It put me off donuts for a good month. Until I needed to edit again.

Protip: When editing or writing, the Waitr app will deliver delicious donuts, Greek food, or Indian food directly to your facehole so you don't have to take a break to cook if you're in the middle of an intense scene

The Spirus box set

All four Spirus books, including the latest release, The Gifted Child, are now available as a boxed set on Amazon. Grab all four books for $8.99


Thursday, May 18, 2017

Special Agent Mauve

I had to scrap all the possible covers I had made for Agent Mauve's full length book because apparently Amazon considers firearms on covers offensive, even though there's a clear firearm accessory section of Amazon. Whatever. I made a new cover and now I have 2 potential covers if I want to extend the series. THis is the new cover and I'll be finished with it once I catch me some hackers and a botanist with a foot fetish

 photo mauvealt2_zpss0jlo4hn.jpg

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Special Agent Mauve and The Spirus

Special Agent Mauve was a silly little short story I wrote based on a dream I had and a rather mortifying experience in the sixth grade (if you've read it, the eggrolls happened to me in real life). A few reviewers have gotten upset with me because it wasn't longer and thought it ended too quickly.

So little Agent Mauve is getting her own full length novel. I'm about 15K words in. We see more of Mauve's personal life and there is a new mission with new shenanigans. Will Mauve save the day in her own special way?

I'm also working on the fourth book in the Spirus series. We learn more about the tribes and Lisana finally takes the throne. We learn more about the crowning ceremonies for the tribes and we explore what the Spirus gifts can do in this book.

There are things that are required viewing when I'm writing. There's either movies I watch or television shows. I ended up switching from showtime to Starz when I found out Starz was doing both the White Princess and American Gods. I also found a plethora of period time shows for me to watch while I'm working on the Spirus books. How did I not have Starz before? I've watched Outlander, Pillars of the Earth, and now I'm watching Davinci's Demons.

There is different required viewing for the Mauve series, which I'm working on at the same time. The fact that I can stream every single season of the Golden Girls is quite a beautiful thing. I'm working my way through season 1 as I write. Blanche is my spirit animal and I speak Sophia.

Also, Midnight's Sonata will be free on Amazon tomorrow. So be on the lookout. Mauve is getting her own book and the fourth book in the Spirus series will be dropping soon

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Crow Girl is FREE today

Crow Girl is FREE today on Amazon. Based on Irish folklore, Girl Girl follows Liam Collins and the wild girl that shows up in his garden patch stealing his peas

DOWNLOAD NOW

 photo crowcover2_zps9rc4uxpu.jpg

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Crow Girl is LIVE

I've been working on Crow Girl for the past three weeks and it's finally done. I was watching a zombie show when the idea came to me, then I threw in a little Ben Folds song, then Crow Girl was born. Oddly, there's no zombies in Crow Girl, just some Irish Folklore and some really awesome swear words I found.

I'm pretty proud of Crow Girl and hope people like it. You can get Crow Girl on Amazon, either through KDP or purchase myBook.to/crowgirl">HERE

You can find the first 5-6 chapters for free on Instafreebie right here

 photo crowcover2_zps9rc4uxpu.jpg

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Salome: A Modern Retelling Giveaway

YOU get free shit, YOU get free shit, YOU ALL get free shit. I'm not really Oprah, but sometimes I like to pretend.

I'm doing a giveway of Salome: A Modern Retelling, where it's FREE until 3/31 on Instafreebie

Check it out

All I ask is that if you grab it, if you could please leave an honest review

 photo Salome promo_zpsr8vmhvez.jpg

So Your Cat Wants to Kill You

I should pretty much never be left to my own devices. Like, ever. I need to be doing,minimum, two things at once. I had this covered up until recently. Now, I'm trying to bide my time by making the second thing I do during the day is read during down time.

I'm in a few review groups on goodreads. I had chosen a book from one of these review groups and was waiting on a copy. Two days had gone by and it still hadn't arrived. So I'm sitting here, just doing one thing, which is always dangerous.

So yeah, this happened.
 photo catcover_zpsnhmesqgb.jpg

Why is your cat always plotting your death? Why do they always have to fuck shit up? What's REALLY with them always shoving their butthole in your face and why do they have to rub it on everything?

It should be up on Amazon probably tomorrow. It should be up on a few extended distribution shortly. Google play to come. It's totally silly, but there's some cat tips from my years of fostering cats

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Things published

I'm so awful at keeping up this blog. It's probably because my mind is gone because I appear to be seeing how long it's humanly possibly to live off caffeine, toast, and yogurt. And no sleep.

I've actually published 3 books since Christmas. The Spirus went live on Christmas Day, its prequel, Belisarus' Diary went live in February, then I published a modern retelling of the Salome story that I'm probably totally going to hell for, but it was a lot of fun writing.

Salome is actually up on Instafreebie until the 31'st, so you can grab it HERE if you'd like a copy, I'd just ask that you leave an honest review when you're done.

I prefer writing literary fiction, even though it's not a popular genre. I took a break to write The Spirus, The Spirus prequel, and Salome, but now I've gone back to write my latest, Crow girl, which I'm actually having fun writing.

I had two ideas for a setting. One was an hour away from me and the other was across an ocean to a place I have family, but have never been. I opted for across the ocean and am having a blast researching different swear words and slang.

So basically, if you want to read fantasy,The Spirus , The Spirus: Belisarus' Diary are available. If you want romance and kind of erotica, Salome  is availble

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Where is my mind?

I published The Spirus on Christmas day. Since then, I've published the prequel and I've furiously written most of another book.

When I was nearly done with the prequel to the Spirus, I knew I wanted to write the Salome story, but I kinda wanted to do it Norma Desmond style and not Oscar Wilde. As I'm writing the prequel, my brain starts screaming at me, but WHAT if you take it totally in this direction and go totally into left field with the Salome story?

My head would literally not stop screaming at me about the Salome story. I took about a weeks break and furiously wrote about 40K words in a week. Spent, I went back and finished the prequel and hit publish around February 15th or so.

I've been working on the Salome story since then and it's up to a little over 92K words in maybe 2-3 weeks. I'm pretty much done except the last chapter. Except I'm staring at this last chapter like my pit bull when I give her a crunchy treat. I have it in my mouth and I know I want to eat it, but I'm so excited, I've forgotten what to do with it. So I'm doing what she does when she gets a cookie. I'm essentially running around the room and jumping on and off the bed with a cookie in my mouth like, "I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M EXCITED!!"

This also could be because of the fact that while I plowed through this book, I stopped eating real food, dropped a ton of weight, and made myself sick. I thought I might want to eat real food again and was going to order delivery. Saw Waitr has Izzo's now and I could have had a big, beautiful vegetarian burrito delivered to my face hole. My stomach pretty much said, "Yeah, I still don't want to eat." So I closed the app and went back to writing.

I pretty much look like Gollum right now and I have to go to a family function later today. They are either going to A: throw food at me or B: their electronics are going to be so broken I spend the entire time huddled in the corner fixing them no one notices my resemblance to Gollum.

I did catch up on season 3 of Z nation while writing the Salome story. I have an idea for my next book, which, oddly, does not involve zombies considering I was watching a zombie show. It has 0 to do  with zombies and there's a Ben Folds song involved. Maybe it came to me because I was trying to distract myself from that really bad wig they put a character in. Hello, lace fronts are awesome. Use them.

My version of the Salome story is actually full of drug lords, cocaine, snitches, and sex. That's just where I decided to take it. I'm looking for people who want ARC's in exchange for a review. If you click eepurl.com/cD1feH"> here
and sign up, once I'm finished and done editing, I'll pop a free copy over to you for review

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Where covers go to die

I make my own covers. Generally, they are also photos I have taken myself aside from the Mauve series because I don't have the props for it here. I ended up having to use a stock photo for the prequel to The Spirus, which I still haven't blogged about, but is out, but all the art work to it aside from the photo is mine.

I have this folder full of covers that made it and covers in various states of undress where I started a filter and didn't like it. For the prequel to "The Spirus", I made a blue, purple, and red themed cover. Red was the one that won, Figuring out what I want to eat also usually takes 3 days and about 4 trial runs.

The book I'm working on now, I have about 6 versions of the cover that are potentials. I decided on one I liked and put my title and name on it. I have computer installed fonts and fonts I downloaded. I put a font I found and haven't used before on the cover and now I have no fucking idea which font it is for the spine.

I'm going to have to go on a font scavenger hunt when it comes time to put a paperback cover together. I'm getting close to finishing the book, which is a modern day twist on the Salome story. I only hope Amazon doesn't put this book in biblical fiction, otherwise, I'm going to piss a whole hell of a lot of people off

Thursday, February 23, 2017

My first hater

I pretty much have my first hater. I'm not sure if that means I've made and I can retire to my castle with pygmy goats. I know who it is and what their problem is.

Pretty much the only thing I will dignify with an actual response is that I was accused in public of using a ghost writer. Everything on online with my name on it was written directly BY me, usually after a 16 hour work day. I write between 4-6 hours a day, usually into the later hours of the night.

My work and writing schedule has changed 3 times since November due to where I work. I went from writing everything until the wee hours of the morning to having to get up way before my body was ready as a night person and having to learn to write in the afternoon. About a month ago, my schedule changed again. I work in the morning, I get a 4 hour break where I feed myself and try to fit as much writing in as I can, then I go back to work for a few more hours. I clock out and write for another few hours.

Basically, my knees are falling apart from the way I write. I danced for years, both for local companies and in school. My flexibility was quite loved by choreographers, but my bendy knees decided to give themselves runners knee the way I sit to write for so many hours. I don't run. Ever. If you see me running, you should run too because basically, the Walking Dead is happening.

So basically, I don't ghost write. My body is turning against me for the way I sit to write and I currently look like Gollum from staying up late to write and getting up early for work.

Say whatever you want about me because you're pissed, whatever. Vomit all over internet random shit about me. It's been 3 months and it's probably time to just move on. I'm generally not going to respond to it until you try to say my written word and my ideas are not my own and something I pay someone else for