So, today is my day off. Record an audio book, I said. You could probably finish one book on your day off, I said. THAT IS TOTALLY NOT HAPPENING.
I did my research. I knew how to format it to upload it and what is required. I had Audacity up and ready to go.
I get two words of the title out and am like, that is awful and delete it. Eek out the title and my name. Hit play. My air conditioner is still fucked, but should be fixed soon. You can totally hear the fan I have in the room with me in the background. Fiddle around with recording the title about 4 more times and eventually figure out how to remove the noise and a little help from mah friends.
Technically, I SHOULD be recording the first chapter right now. I have it pulled up and ready to go. I know how to remove the fan noise now. But it's storming, yet again, because we are in the middle of hurricane season and my not so bright dog thinks we're in the middle of a home invasion or something. I've got two dogs. The pit bull, who is blissfully passed out on my bed and would probably want to play with a robber if I actually was in the middle of a home invasion. She's pretty much the worst guard dog ever.
Then you have my mutant bratwurst dog. How can a dog be a mutant bratwurst? See, this whole designer hybrid phase people are doing totally creates mutant bratwurst dogs. Basically, someone bred two dogs together and created a mutt that people will pay a ton of money for because they slapped the label designer hybrid on it and made up stories about how he's a magical unicorn. I didn't pay designer hybrid prices for him. I paid Heinz 57 adoption fees for him, then found out later he's a magical unicorn.
I try to remind him he's a magical unicorn when he's doing things like licking my kindle when I'm trying to read, barking when I'm trying to record an audio book, and destroying my bed sheets because he hates toys. He's content to just be a mutant bratwurst and do his own thing though and that's okay because he's really affectionate and an awesome snuggler. And hey, if this was a home invasion and not a thunder storm, this pit bull wouldn't make a peep, so I've got a 20lb mutant bratwurst protecting the house just in case.
I'm sure when I hit publish on this blog and go back to trying to record, he's going to start barking again. I'm not going to yell at him because I don't yell at my dogs. I'll go in there and scratch his belly and see if he goes to sleep